"Just as the first glimpse should please their eyes, your first words should delight their ears. Your tongue is a welcome mat embossed with either “Welcome” or “Go Away!” To make your Conversation Partner feel welcome, you must master small talk."

 

SMALL TALK, YOUR VERBAL WELCOME MAT

Small talk! Can you hear the shudder? Those two little words drive a stake into the hearts of some otherwise fearless and undaunted souls. Invite them to a party where they don’t know anyone, and it mainlines queasiness into the veins.

If this sound familiar, take consolation from the fact the brighter the individual, the more he or she detest small talk. Fear of small talk and stage fright are the same thing.

We are now going to fashion into techniques to help you guide through small talk like a hot knife through butter. The aim is to make you a dynamic conversationalist and forceful communicator. However, small talk is the first crucial step toward the goal.

TECHNIQUE: 1     

THE MOOD MATCH

Before opening your mouth, take a ‘voice sample’ of your listener to detect his or her state of mind. Take a ‘psychic photograph’ of the expression to see if your listener looks buoyant, or blitzed. If you ever want to bring people around to your thoughts, you must match their mood and voice tone, if only for a moment.

TECHNIQUE: 2   

PROSAIC WITH PASSION

Worried about your first words? Fear not, since 80 percent of your listener’s has nothing to do with your words anyway. Almost anything you say at first is fine. No matter how prosaic the text, an empathetic mood, a positive demeanor, and passionate delivery make you sound exiting.

 

TECHNIQUE: 3     

ALWAYS WEAR A WHAT-ZIT

Whenever you go to a gathering, wear or carry something unusual to give people who find you the delightful stranger across the crowded room an excuse to approach. ‘Excuse me, I couldn’t help but notice your … what IS that?’

 

TECHNIQUE: 4     

NEVER THE NAKED CITY, ADDRESS OF INTRODUCTION

Whenever someone asks you to the inevitable, ‘And where are you from?’ or ‘what do you do?’ never ever, unfairly challenge their powers of imagination with a one-word answer. Learn some engaging facts about your hometown that conversational Partner comment on.

Also throw out some delicious facts about your job for new acquaints to munch on. Otherwise they will soon excuse themselves, preferring the snacks back at the cheese tray.

When introducing people, don’t throw out an unabated hook and stand there grinning like Big Clam, leaving the newly Mets to flutter their fins and fish for a topic. Bait the conversational hook to get them in the swim of things.

TECHNIQUE:5    

THE SWIVEL-LING SPOTLIGHT

When you meet someone, imagine a giant revolving spotlight between you. When you are talking, the spotlight is on you. When new person is speaking, its shining on him or her. If you shine it brightly enough, the stranger will be blinded to the fact that you have hardly said a word about yourself. The longer you keep it shining away from you, the more interesting he or she will find you.

TECHNIQUE:6  

PARROTING

Never be left speechless again. Like a parrot, simply repeat the last few words your Conversation Partner says. That puts the ball right back his or her court, and then all you need to do is listen.

Salespeople, why go on a wild goose chase for a customer’s real objections when its so easy to shake them out of the trees with parroting.

 

TECHNIQUE: 7    

THE LATEST NEWS…. DON’T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT IT

The last move to make before leaving for the party- even after you’ve given yourself final approval in the mirror – is to turn on the radio news or scan your newspaper. Anything that happened today is good material. Knowing the big-deal news of the moment is also a defensive move that rescues you firm putting your foot in your mouth by asking what everybody’s talking about. Foot-in-mouth is not very tasty in public, especially when it’s surrounded by egg-on-face.

 

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